What If

The life that I have been leading,

The love and the hatred,

The truths and the lies,

What if none of it is true?

The stories that had made me who I am,

The memories that sealed deep in my heart,

The smiles that I have been wearing,

What if all of them are fake?

The tears that I had shed,

The pain that bleed me,

What if none of it happened?

The past that still lurking behind the shadow,

refuse to let go,

What if that is the life I’m supposed to live?

The diverged path is one that I cannot possibly choose,

The light might be the dark,

The dark might be the light,

Although the chosen one is walking the steps,

What if the latter was supposed to be traveled?

The one heart and only dream,

Covered by yellow leaves of autumn,

Fading into the cold air,

Flowing aimlessly and lost,

What if they come and knock my door of fate?

白雪

My 白雪

Okay girls, meet my new baby, Shirayuki aka Mazda Lantis~~~!!! Original colour, light green. Now, white is the perfect colour for it! Ak dh bwk jejalan dh baby ak. Haha, tp ak still x lupe kan Wira ak, hahahaha.

Mari Memasak~~~ *gedik*

Ola~~~~

Hehe, ari ni punye entry agak gay sikit.. lol~~ You girls know yg ak ni bkn jenis yg memasak skit kan... So, the whole point ak gedik bli peti ais is to encourage myself utk cooking. haha

Then, mase bln pose ari tu, ak almost every day masak, tp x de la grand mane. Janji lepas perut ak makan. Yg ak msk tiap2 ari tu bubur nasi ye.. haha, sile let go ok.. tp ade one day ak gedik masak pajeri terung. haha

Punye la semangat msk, tong tang tong tang, then, siap! Haha, rupe die agak.... pelik sikit la berbanding mak ak nye. pekat sikit. tp, not bad! haha.. reminder, bkn puji dri sendri ni. hehe..

Then ari ni, gedik try msk gulai lemak labu... haha, asal kaler die len beno ngan mak ak nye?? mak ak msk ok je x ltk serbuk kunyit, santan die still putih. asal ak yg x ltk jgk serbuk kunyit, santan jd kuning?! haha, nk kate salah labu sbb wane labu kuning ke?? lol~~~

p/s: bile agaknye ak akan jd full-fledged cook?

Desperate Much?

   So, around early this month, my old schoolmate messaged me on FB. Well, as we don't meet each other for nearly 8 years, of course I'm touched when she still remembered me. We kind of close back then. Not exactly really close friends, but we did do some crazy stuff together. Our sisterhood in middle school was so much more meaningful than in high school.

   We exchanged greetings, asked where do you live, where do I live and things like that, and lastly she asked for my number. She said, she want to have a chat with me. So I said, I afraid if I don't have any interesting topic to talk about. She replied, no problem, sure there will be.

But, what I want to say is, NOT about this. I don't even care if she wants to called me and talk non-stop or whatever. I do care when things happened like this! She texted me. Asked for my money. Okay, fine. First SMS, "Wanie, nk mintx tlg. Ak perlukan duit sgt2. Ni melibatkan kesihatan opah ak. Wanie, ak nk pinjam RM500." The fuck?? RM500?? Wei, ak ni pun makan duit makbapak ak lg. Mane nk cari duit smpai RM500? Besides, I'm not going to use PTPTN money for your sake.

So I said, I could only give you up to RM200 only. Looking so desperate, she agreed. She said it's for her opah. Some medical condition. Feeling sorry for her, I asked for the details. I asked what happened to her opah. Ade ke patut die ckp die x nk bgtau ak sbb takut ak terkejut? Okay, this is not normal. Something fishy is going on here. I didn't bother replied to her.

And so, I asked one of my friends. Her grapevines is so wide! Haha... Turned out, that girl did asked others for money as well. Okay, she did looked desperate. I wonder what happened to her grandma? Then, my friend said, the money is for her mother, not her grandma! Sah! Mmg sah la fishy gile!!

Rata2 sume ckp bnde nye utk mak die. Alasan x konsisten and nmpak bebeno desperate nye. Kawan ak ckp la, msk m.l.m ke die ni? Later, she SMS me, still desperately asked for that RM200. Okay, the question is, I already busted her. She said, nvr mind if I don't believe in her, as long as I could give the money to her and save her opah. Shit! She tends to be default, okay! You think I would give my money to her? Sorry darling, not going to happen. Ak dh x caye die, lagi mau mintx duit kat ak... mmg x ah.

Dh la sblm ni x prnah contact ak, (well, ak pun sma, tehee) tp, kot ye pun, bile dh contact ak tu, jgn la nk dajal ak.

I wonder??

Okay, (rase nye sume entri ak start ngan 'okay'..haha) so, this thing happened last week. But, let's save the main topic later. This is the intro. I was wondering, ah no, am still wondering, am I not allow to perasan? Haha, this is just another silly thing that came out of my mouth.

Well, you see girls, ak ni mmg jenis kuat perasan! Haha, dh tau la kan.. Tp, kalo bkn ngan org tertentu, ak x ckp ape2 bile dtg gedik ak nk perasan skit. Kdg2 tu, bkn ape, ak rase segan nk ckp sbb nanti org pk, "Eh, die ni, lawa x, cun x, perasan lebih." Haa, tu yg ak x nk dgr tu. So, ak pk, baik le diam. Perasan sndri la, I mean, syok sendri je la.

Dh hbs intro, msk blk cite td. last week ak ade la g satu seminar ni. I told you ady cik mira, about the financial planning thingy. Pagi tu ak dtg... ak rase normal? Haha... seriously normal. Blm timbul lagi the 'perasan-ness' tu. Entah cmne, dh hbs lunch break, ak duduk la sengsorang kat tepi bilik meeting tu coz, unfortunately it was locked.

I was reading a novel, x kan nk berangan plak, x manis dipandang org lalu-lalang. Then, dh lma skit pengelola seminar tu dtg nk bukak pintu bilik tu la. So, ak tunggu la sume org yg penting msk dlu... x nk la nmpak sgt cm kureng ajar. Nk dijadikan cite, this one guy, yg termasuk skali dlm team yg conduct seminar tu, berenti dpn ak.

Ak pk la, ape hal plak ni... ko x nk msk ke? Ak pun pndg la die, ak dpt rase kan yg ak lmbt skit dpt signal die... ak agak la, x tau btl ke x, ak rase die bg ak msk dlu. Ladies first la kira nye tu. Ak nk x nk je senyum kat die, pastu ak blah la msk duduk kat dlm.

Time ni la ak dh start 'perasan-ness'. Ak rase mcm die stare ak... entah... pelik gile. Haha.. kebetulan time tu ak duduk jarak 4/5 krusi jauh dr die. Tempat die mmg kat situ. Ak dtg sibuk kat kwn bru knal, duduk menepek kat sblh dowg. x de kwn, lonely gak. Knl org baru, ape slh nye eh?

Then, mase lecturer tu nk start, die ckp ktowg ni dh jauh sgt, so die suh ktowg grak ke kiri die. Bgn la ak ngan ade brape2 org lagi. Ni yg x leh blah... time ak nk bgn jgk la that guy pun bgn jgk. Ape die nk wat pun ak x tau la... okay, so, x de kate die halang jln ak, (ak x gerak kuar dr seat ak pun, just die jln depan ak je, maybe die pk ak nk terbump ngan die kot.. sbb ak berenti, ak nmpak die nk lalu.) terbump mmg x la, die leh ckp sori kat ak. Aik?? Asal?? Perlu ke?? Ak wat dunno je.

Later2 ak dh x rase die stare ak sbb die x de dlm bilik tu. Haha, of coz la kan? Last skali... die jln nk circulate borang feedback. Smpai tmpat ak, die x pndg ak lgsg, okay, x pe, tp die terangkan kat org sblh ak tu n ignore completely ak. Ai... kot ye pun, ak ni part of the seminar tu, bile terangkan, pndg la jgk ak. Haih... ape2 je la.

At the end of that seminar, ktowg sume actually mcm org gile tau! Haha, mmg x nk ngaku kalah dlm game yg dowg wat tu. So, ak x pk bnde lain slain concentrate btl2 dlm task ktowg. Jd, ak x sedar bile die msk blk dlm bilik tu (die suke kuar) and kat mane die duduk.  Penghujung game, lecturer tu announced la ktowg sume menang since x de sape nk ngalah. Okay, applaud~~ Ha! Tgh sronok ak tepuk tgn, ak terpandang die. Dlm ati ak ckp, eh, bile die duk situ? Okay, not big deal. Yg ni ye big deal!  Ak tau yg die tgh pndg ak sbb the moment ak pndg die, lebih kurang 2 saat cmtu, die trus toleh tmpat lain.

So... hbs dh moment perasan ak. Lol~~~ Pnjg gile ak menaip!

Yes! At Last!

Greetings, Earthlings~~~~

Let me recalled what had happened for the last few months.  I first took Herbalife in April. Since then, frankly speak, I lost 7kg, which was a good news to me. Tapi, in May, ak tersilap pandang. (tu pasal la rase pelik bile cik mira ckp ak turun 2 kg je.. haha)  Rupenye ak ade turun 4 kg, but bile that one week I spent in Malacca, I ate like there's no tomorrow. That's when I gained 5 kg since I stopped taking my shake (dh hbs... tp x leh bli sbb konon nye secret). Haha, serve me right.

So, I started all over again at 94 kg in June. So, skrang dh turun 5 kg blk!! Ak ingatkan leh la turun 7kg, tp berat ak turun naik bulan ni gara2 mak ak asyik dtg and bwk makanan utk ak! Mane boleh tolak! Haha.. so, result nye, 5kg je la yg ak boleh pegi. Anyway, hehe, happy gile ak! The thing yg buat ak happy is, at last ak dh  89kg! Dh msuk range 80-89kg! Nk turun dr range 90-100kg ke range 80-89kg, rase payah giler~~

Giler berharap ak dpt turun lagi. Maybe nk pose ni berat ak akan turun lg bnyk?? Harapan je ni!

p/s: pg td timbang, tgk dh 89kg, menari-nari ak! Lol~~

Secret? Blown!!

After for two months of secrecy, all of my family members dh tau ak amik herbalife. My ol' brothers are skeptical as always. Nah, I don't need their approval pun. Let them say whatever they want. It's not like I want to kurus because of them. I do this for myself and myself only.

My father.... umm... well, it's more like he doesn't want to talk about it much. Anyway, the important part is, he didn't scold me, which is what I was hoping for. My lil' brother....he just said something about the shake with the 'eww' word. Listen kid, never said 'eww' to the food!!*btl2 kne ajar budak2 hormat makanan* Unless it is rotten and something human aren't supposed to eat! But, for the record, I don't mind you saying my food is pelik, okay? Say pelik instead of 'eww'. I'll appreciate your comment more.
 
As for my mother and lil' sis, dowg dh tau. And, my mother bg adik ak amik herbalife! Hah, shocking!! Adik ak doesn't really have the motivation.... Bukan nk mengata, tp bnde ni sume kne ade motivation and ketahanan mental yg kuat! *walaupun ak kengkdg kalah, hehe* Tp, for starter, I'll support her!! Gambatte~~!!!

Anyway, just for you girls, ak ni dh berstatus 'Supervisor'!!! Don't know how my coach do it, she said she sent my name for qualification and just like that I'm a supervisor *mls nk terang kan kat sini, ak malas nk fikir ayat*. Anyway, what I want to tell you is, as a supervisor, I was entitled to 50% discount! Yay!! Kurang rm100 ak kne byr tiap2 bulan. Sebelum ni around rm600, so skrang only rm500! hehe, boleh la that rm100 ak simpan for next month nye~~
 
Since ak x mkn herbalife seminggu sbb stock ak hbs and ak x bli sbb ak still ber-secret ngan dowg, my weight naik!!! Penat je ak turunkn 7kg!!! Naik blk 5kg tau!! NOOO!!! haha, padan muka ak.

Mak ak and adik ak dh tau...!

Beberapa ari lepas, ak bgtau adik pompuan ak yg ak amik herbalife. Haha, asal nye leh terkuar awal rahsia is bcoz die tetiba sibuk tny ak ade ape2 produk yg leh kurus bdn x. Haha, mmg time tu ak pk, ala, alang2 dh ckp pasal bnde ni, bg je la tau. And so, adik ak dpt tau bnde ni awal sikit dr yg sepatutnye.. Actually ak nk bgtau die bile die lepak umah ak seminggu cuti sk nanti. Yela, dh duduk umah tu ngan ak, brg herbalife ak lak mmg ak letak kat dapur... x kan la nk main sorok2 lagi mcm kat umah ak skang ni?? Payah ooo...

Then, mak ak leh 'ter'-tau sbb ak bangang x prasan mak ak ade kat belakang ak mase ak nk tmbah air teh ak tu. Lol, terbocor rahsia. Mak ak tny ape tu, ak pun jwb lah, teh beli sendri la. Tuptup, esok mase ak tgh drive, mak ak kat sblh, mak ak ckp pasal brg turun weight yg adik ak nk. Pastu, die terus masuk cite, "Mcm teh yg wanie beli tu la kan... Serbuk nye type kan. Ha... mcm herbalife tu." Cheh... haha, alang2 dh petik name herbalife, ckp je la. "A'ah, herbalife la tu." "Wanie amik teh die je, kan?" "x la, wanie amik satu set." "2 ribu?" "2 ribu mana la plak mak... sebulan wanie hbs 600." "Hem... x pe la... wanie ade duit kan." "Mak marah ke?" "Mak x marah, bnde baik, bukan nye wanie beli bnde bukan2"...

Dh hilang skit tension ak... Haha, duduk umah ni, bgtau mak je, senang skit hati. Ayah x de pe sgt, die bkn nye g dapur pun. Mak ak je yg semedang ade kat dapur, nk bncuh teh ngan shake pun sakit nk kne tunggu mak ak kuar dapur dlu. hehe... Btw, satu family dh tau ak on diet tp yg tau ak amik herbalife just mak and adik ak je. Oh, and... geram pun ade ni.. adik beradik ak yg laki x percaya ak on diet! Siap mocking ak lg tu. Mmg jenis mintx pelempang kan.... Lantak la, janji ak tau something has changed inside my body. Biar la org nk ckp ape pun. Ak x kisah

Insya-Allah, x de nye... Amiinn..

Okay, smlm  tgh pgi td cik keenah kol ak. Patutnye die tido, die kol nye ak sblm die pass out! haha...

Jgn risau la mak cik... x de nye ak nk tinggal kan ko, lupakan ko tu sume la!! Insya-Allah, x de nye akan jadi cmtu.... (Amiinn...)

Cik mira pun.. x de nye ak nk tinggalkan korang berdua. Haa...unless korang wat taik ngan ak. LOL~~~ Sampai sudah ak tinggalkan korang, lupe kan korang! x nk kawan! Merajuk! XD

Oh, yeah! Ingatan cik keenah mcm dh deteriorated je.... Haha~~!! Ni mesti kes makan bnyk semut ni... Ish..ish..ish..

I Hope It's True... Hehe~~

So, I came across this blog. Die post gmbar minah omputih ni yg dlu gile la punye chubby, kuit miut gitu kat dlm blog die. Die x de la besar mane. What happened is, after she dh kurus... okay, not bad. Lawa. Btw, she's kinda cute pun time chubby. We can see la but dun know bout guys. They always go for the 'hot' type =_=

Yg ak nk ckp is the komen yg org2 mlayu kite tulis. Some said photoshop. Some said, tipu je. Yeah, photoshop la tu. I was thinking, biar la kalo photoshop skali pun... At least die nk nmpak lawa dlm gmbr. Haha...

Anyway, yg buat kan ak tertarik is that one komen. That guy ckp, "Ala, sume org baik laki or pompuan, bile gemuk dh jd kurus, and kalo muka dowg okay, x de yg jongang, juling ke... hensem and lawa dowg ni sume." *more or less the same*

Haha, really I wish it true! Now, tell me. Kan positive je thinking mamat ni. Bile die ckp cmtu, haha, teringin ak nk tgk appearance ak bile dh kurus nanti! LOL~~~

First Month! HABIS~~~

Okay, so today ak nk cite kisah kejayaan ak. Haha~~~ *ak sndri bc pun geli :P* Actually ak dh hbs one month, ahad lepas. Tp, kan esok nye nk exam, so x de la gatal tgn nk menge-post kan? Hari ni ak ade gap, so ak tulis la.

Overall, first month ak dh turun 7kg. Waa... agak bnyk?? Haha... anyway, ak target maybe leh 8kg ke 9kg sbb week 3 tu, ak dh turun 7kg. But, berat ak fluctuated la plak. Dgn makan takoyaki nye... Leh plak makan nasi mcm x pernah jumpa nasi 2 tahun la... Haa..kan padan muka. Kejap naik, kejap turun... Bgs sgt la tu.

So, nasib nk kne, hari ahad tu, ak timbang, total turun 7kg. Okay la tu... janji bnde nye turun. Kalo x turun, mau frust jgk ak. Anyway, di-sbbkan ak dh prove yg ak leh turun 7kg in a month, so, mmg ak target this month utk turun another 7kg la jwbnye or maybe more. *pesanan pd dri sndri, jgn makan mcm awk tu kebuluran setahun*

Oh, kan ak ade cite pasal this one girl yg in a year die dh kurus kan... Ak terjumpa another blogger amik herbalife jgk! He's a guy. Die x bgtau plak die dh amik brape lama...tp, tgk keadaan die... maybe around a year or less?? Sbb one of his entries, die ade bgtau berat die 131kg, and now, maybe around 100 to 90?? Can't exactly figure it out coz he's a guy. 90kg pun guys x de la nmpak besar sgt... I wish he'll tell more.

Anyway, okay la. Previous gmbar die...Masya-Allah... bdn die mcm Bob Kuman. *oh, Bob Kuman dh meninggal??? bc kat twitter je. x tgk berita so, x tau btl ke x sbb sblm ni ade org ckp die dh meninggal then Bob post gmbar kat Twitter, saying he's still alive on that day. he wrote the date pun. lol~~* Melalut plak ak.

That's why I'm figuring it out die amik around a year dh sbb skrang bdn die x de la ak kate btl2 kurus, but ade la perubahan. Nmpak kecik skit la. Bile ak tgk gmbar die sblm and selepas... Okay, nk jgk!!! Byg kan la org yg besar mcm tu boleh jd kecik skit *blm smpai target die lg kot. haha*

Good la, nk motivate diri sndri, ak mncari sume story yg ade pasal org yg amik herbalife ni. Tgk gmbar dowg, buat kan ak nk jd mcm tu jgk. Hehe~~

Oh, first time tau ape tu diet Atkins! Haha, sblm ni org asyik ckp Atkins...Atkins... tp ape bnde tu pun ak tau *mlas nk google. Never thought it was somewhat famous..* Die bgtau die buat diet Atkins+herbalife+usaha.... BAM!! lost 7kg in A WEEK!! Mak aih... melampau gile die ni.... Ak pun nk!!! Tp, diet Atkins ni x bg bdn amik carbohydrate. Ak ni org mlayu sejati.. kalo x mkn nasi, mati la ak.... Kempunan... Haha...

Talking about x mkn nasi, my mom know this one girl... She said that girl x makan nasi slama DUA TAHUN!! Fuck.... Seriously??? And then, my mom tny, skrang dh kurus, makan nasi x? Die ckp, perut die dh x leh terima nasi. Haa???? Waa...extremist isn't she??

p/s: this month target.... another 7kg!!!! GO WANIE GO WANIE GO~~~!!!!

Tidak... Naik!

Ala.... naik blk.... 94kg! Penat je ak turunkan sampai 93kg! T_T

Rahsia? Masih Lagi.

Oh, no!! Somehow my pace nk diet always and will always akan dikacau oleh my family and always be my family!! Kalo my friends mmg lunch nye. E2 mmg dlm schedule ak, so x pe. Dinner pun dlm stahun blh kira ngan jari. Hadui............

Last time ak blk Ipoh, mmg mkn mcm gluttony dh ak ni. Mau x nye, rase mcm bertahun x makan mak masak... Then, td, abg blk tetiba, no alarm, kol ckp, "Another 10 minutes abg smpai." And!! Boleh plak die dgn muka happy bli kan ak takoyaki kat Mines, yg ak giler kan sgt tu, bg ak.... Due set plak tu!! T_T Haha...sengaja ni... x nk bg ak kurus.. Conspiracy against me!

p/s: susah nye berahsia ngan family!!!

Widen Your Mind

This is only myself talking nonsense... Haha... Actually, no. Haha...

I read her wordpress every now and then and sometimes when I checked her blog, there are new posts she wrote in there and of course, I'm only concern about what she write about herbalife. Nothing than that. Not about her married life or whatsoever, how she totally bahagia and all that. I don't even care.

Last time I checked her blog, she wrote this phrase that made me think.

"If you ever want to lose your weight for the sake of being healthy, do call me, I'll do whatever I can to help you achieve that. But, if your reason taking herbalife is to show off your body, nk tayang2 pd org len, then, don't even bother calling me cause I'll not 'layan' you." *more or less she wrote it like this, but the meaning is still there.*

Okay, here's the thing. I agreed with you that you don't like people taking this thing just so they can show off their slim body later. And I respect your mentality that you'll only help those people who want to be healthy, nothing wrong with that.

But, the only thing I disagree is that, there are people who want to take this thing so that their life would be better. Better in the sense that they will not being insulted, mocked, or whatever bad words thrown at them. Maybe your interpretation of what other mean that made you inclined to think like that. No, you're wrong.

For instance, me. I take herbalife is not because I want to be healthy. Being healthy is a secondary reason for me. The important thing to me is that, I take this thing because I want to shut their fucking mouths. I want to show them, I'm not the old f*t girl anymore for them to bad mouthing about me. Maybe your perception is that, I want to show off my body later, but no. Open your eyes! Want to show off the body and want to shut someone mouth is two different things!

You need to widen your mind. You have to think beyond that. Every word has a meaning behind that. You can't just simply made your own meaning without learn their actual meaning first. So, if I were to meet you and I would say this, "My WHY is because I want to shut the mouths of those who have insulted me before." Maybe, or I should say, highly probable that you would think that my 'WHY' is because I want to show off my body, my slim body, afterward so that they will not kutuk2 me any longer.

Do you ever wonder that my actual reason is because I'm sick of their hurtful words? That my heart can't take it anymore? That every single day, every single moment they will stare at me like I was some sort of an extinct animal? Bad things they said to me? How hurt I was feeling? No? Then, don't talk like you know everything.

p/s: this was my interpretation of what she said, others may think differently as what I thought. no harm done, peace no war.

Drastic? Dun now....

Ak x tau la nk kate drastik tu mcm mane bak kate cik mira.... Ak dh turun ke 93kg ari ni. Total 7kg utk 3 weeks!

Anyway, akak tu ckp sebulan purata akan consume bnde tu sbnyk 3 botol. Mmg ak pakai 3 botol!! Waa... kopak jadinye ak! Haha, kalo puas ati, never mind la~~!! Oh, ak dh spent almost Rm1000 over utk bnde ni sbb ak dh bli stock utk bln depan nye!

Mati ak kalo parents ak tny mane duit ak pegi *2nd time ak ckp bnde yg sama. hehe* x pe, modal bli groceries *sbnr nye, ak x msak pun!* boleh simpan buat blanja ak skit! Nmpaknye duit yg ak simpan nk bli fridge terpaksa pakai dlu. Ak kne tunggu ade duit skit baru la pk blk nk bli peti ais.

Lgpun, ak ni bkn nye masak pun, x de gune sgt pun peti ais tu. Ak just pk, kalo parents ak dtg, x yh la angah ak buang duit bli ais kat 7e, x payah la mak ak pening2 nk kne panaskan makanan tu sebelum tido, and pagi2 sblm tgh hari *okay, sbnrnye ak yg kne buat, tp d-sbbkan pemalas sgt ak ni, peti ais is a must supaya boleh sumbat je makanan tu dlm fridge, kuarkan and panaskan bile nk makan petang nanti je! Haha!*

Btw, ak ske bile berat ak dh turun, that's mean ak ade buat something pd bdn ak supaya kurang skit berat ak ni! Sblm ni, x pernah ter-pk nk pun nk exercise ke ape ke. Bile dh amik bnde ni, ak pk, duit dh kuar bnyk, kalo x turun sgt, membazir pun ade.. That's why la ak rajin skit nk senaman walaupun rase mcm nk mati! Hehe~~ Tp, kdg2 pemalas jugak... Ade la dlm tiga ari tu, sehari ak skip exercise. Haha! Pastu, mulut ak ni jenis yg suke mengunyah, so, phm2 la... Hehe... sume kudap2 dlm umah ak ni *yg ak bli + mak ak bg sblm ak bli herbalife* ak curi2 makan!

Ade satu blogger ni ak bc story die, giler bnyk die pny tekad. Tekad x nk makan tu, x nk amik tu, x nk makan umah terbuka time raya and etc. Ak x rase ak leh buat mcm die... Susah ooo~~!! Anyway, mmg respect habis la die.. Dlm setahun, pergh, kecik je die... Rase mcm x caya je sbb gmbar die sblm kurus mmg nmpak mcm die tu someone yg tulang besar! Kalo kurus pun, ak assumed die agak besar org nye. Agak2, ak akan jd cm die ke? *berangan*

Mana Tau~~~

Angan2 pun actually boleh jadi kenyataan kalo kite work it out tau~~ *pandai je ak ckp* Tp, mesti la ade motivation nk buat dan cara yg btul!

So, disbb kan ak dh start buat, and ak dh leh nmpak ade perubahan walaupun slow pace, x salah kan kalo ak nk berangan skit~~~

Cik Keenah n Cik Mira mesti support ak pny kan~~ Hehe~~

Ak pk nk ubah style pakaian ak nanti bile ak dh kurus. Of course, no jeans. Ak pk nk pakai kain labuh tu. Lawa. Dh lama teringin nk pakai.

Tp, ak pendek~~~ Mane la sesuai nk pakai skirt labuh... uwaaa.. T_T..  kalo kaki ak kecik, boleh gak membeli belah kasut tinggi... ni x... mak ayah siap buat lawak lgi, "boleh tempah je kasut tu." Kat sape? Aish...

Baju pun nanti nk bli yg ade fashion skit tp ade la preference yg ak cari.

Baju kurung still akan pakai, tp mmg kne anta alter la jwb nye~~ Haha, kuat ak berangan! Hehe~~! Sbb, pada ak, mase ak bdn besar dlu, baju kurung la penyelamat ak. Ak syg baju kurung.

Anyway, some of the clothes I want to wear~~

 Ak suke tgk baju ni!

 Ni org panggil, 'Bohemian Skirt'. Cantik print die~~

 Waaa...Oren!

Ni pun lawa jugak~~

Nk yg ni!!!!

 Plain je.. putih, tp lawa. Hehe~~

 Lawa giler skirt die!!!!

Waktu keje boleh la kot....

 Nakkk!!!!!

 Hijau! Yaa, lawa nye!!

Baju die!!! Lawa~~

 Plain gile. Tp ak suke!

 Putih~~ Menarik tau baju ni!

Ak nk baju yg labuh2 skit, ceyy, muslimah la kata kan! Eheks! Tp, mmg kne jelajah shopping mall satu malaysia la ni kalo nk cari baju2 yg sebijik cmni! Hehe~~

Dh turun lgi~~

Yay, biar lmbat, ak x kisah, janji turun! Hari ni, turun jd 95kg!! Dh turun 5kg dr first day amik bnde ni, kira okay la. Drpd x turun lgsg. Sblm ni nk turun 1kg pun payah bebeno. Hehe~~

Berusaha!!!

p/s: ak dh nmpak perubahan kat perut ak!!! first time ak tgk dh mcm pregnant 6 bln dh... =_="  sekarang ade la mcm turun skit ke 4,5 bln! Lol~~~

Why Now? Haha~~

The other day mase ak kat Ipoh, ade sorang kakak ni dtg kat ak.

Die: Adik ade kwn2 yg nk turunkan berat bdn x?
Ak: Aaa.....
Die: Adik pernah dgr nutrisihat?
Ak: Aaa.... *geleng kpala*
Die: Pernah dgr herbalife?
Ak: ......(ak tgh amik bnde tu la) *angguk kpala*
Die: Okay, ni la herbalife. Dr makanan yg berminyak sume tu ditukarkan kpd shake.
Ak: (Yes, ak tau. Ak tgh minum bnde tu la)
Die: Okay, kami ade.. bla, bla,bla...
Ak: *angguk kpala*

Akak tu berckp smpai la mintak no. phone ak. Bile die mintk je, ak terus ckp ak tgh amik bnde tu. Berseri muka die! haha~~~ Die ckp kat ak kalo blh kol la die share perkembangan body weight ak. Sblm ak amik korang x dtg kat ak pun. Haha...
Insya-Allah kak, saya akan kol. Tp, kalo saya kol, akak still ingat kat saya ke? Bkn nye akak ade contact no. saya pun. Saya je ade.

moral of the story: len kali bgtau awal2 kalo korang ade amik produk yg dowg tgh promote supaya jimat mase. haha...

p/s: actually ak tgh blur mase die berckp tu. So, ak angguk je ape yg die ckp. ak pk, cepat la hbs, ak nk cepat ni. bile die mintk no phone, baru ak ckp ak amik bnde tu skang. x tau la ape yg die pk. ak ni menipu ke ape ke. papepun, die still tunjuk muka die happy bile ak ckp tgh amik bnde alah tu.

Dh turun!!

Yay, semalam ak timbang 97kg, ari ni ak timbang, dh turun 95.5kg! Lalala~~ turun 1.5kg! Yosh!!! Target minggu ni is 93kg! Gambatte ne~~~!

That Story

Ak ni x de la kurus org nye. Badan mmg 'sihat'! Tp, dgn badan ak yg mcm ni, makin lama makin buat ak depress. Kne hina, kne kutuk, kne gelak, sume ak pernah rase. x payah ckp la mcm mane perasaan ak mase tu, sedih, bengang, rase nk koyak2 kan mulut diaorg pun ade. But hey! At least ak tabah. Ak senyap je setiap kali diaorg ckp bukan2 pasal ak. Kne kutuk depan2 org ramai pun ak pernah kne. Ak senyum je. x de satu perubahan pun dekat muka ak. Buat bodoh mmg la, tapi nk buat pekak susah! Every tiny bit bnde yg diaorg ckp tu ak boleh dgr! Ak sedar yg ak ni x kurus, x lawa, x hot sume, tp korang kne ingat, ak ade perasaan. Setiap kali korang mengutuk ak, setiap kali itu lah, ak menangis. Ak x ckp ape2 kat parents ak, adik beradik mmg x payah ckp la, dh diaorg join skali mengutuk ak. Every time org ckp bnde buruk pasal ak, parents ak just ckp, "x pe wanie, gemuk pun lawa." x mak, x ayah, org lain x akan ckp, 'gemuk pun x pe, janji lawa'. Cume mak ayah je akan ckp mcm tu. Ni realiti, bukan persepsi.

Then, pada satu hari yg bahagia, ak pergi kampus, ade klas. Hari mmg panas, terik gile. Berpeluh dh satu badan. Ak ckp pada diri ak, nasib baik la klas karang ade air-cond, x de la bertambah ak berpeluh. Tgk2, tutorial hari tu, kne lari2 keliling kampus. Tujuan nye, lecturer tu x nk ade kan klas mcm bese sbb boring. Alamak... Ak dh la x fit, kne lari2 plak? And then, ak fikir balik, x pe la, budak2 group ak tu sume kawan2 ak, diaorg msti x kisah nye kalo ak suruh jgn laju sgt. TAPI!!!! Ak kne assigned masuk group lain jadi tukang perhati/(timekeeper? - nama yg lecturer bagi) diorg (sama ade diaorg ni bekerjasama ke x)..... By the time lecturer tu ckp je kne lari, one of that group members terus pandang ak!

Okay, fine! Ak just kne follow rentak diaorg je kan? Ak boleh! Group tu sume laki, sorang pompuan. Nasib baik pompuan tu ckp x nk lari sbb penat. Tp, sebenarnye... diaorg jalan giler punye laju!!! Serius ak ckp, ak letih nk ikut diaorg dr belakang. Timekeeper x boleh berpisah dgn group tu and ak kne pastikan yg group tu x berpecah. Pulak... makin sengsara la ak. Entah mcm mane, at one point, diaorg start lari! Ak pun kne la jgk lari kan? Tetiba ade sorang budak laki group tu pandang ak, die ckp, 'weh! die pun lari lah! haha!' sume group die tgk ak.....korang boleh tangkap kan maksud die? Okay, ak senyum je la. x pe, sabar je la. Then, diaorg nk catch up lift (x lalu nak naik tangga), sume ahli group tu dh masuk, tinggal ak sorang terkontang-kanting. Masuk je ak dlm tu, someone in the group ckp dgn kuat nye, 'wei, timekeeper ade x?! haha! takut pulak tertinggal!' Sume budak2 group die gelak! Malu okay!!! Lift tu penuh dgn org! Mesti la ak ade skali dlm tu, korang sebelah ak je, okay?!!!!

That's it!!!! Sepanjang hari tu ak mmg bengang. Bawak kete balik rumah pun mcm F1 driver dh. Smpai je rumah, x pasang lampu (note: dh mlm ye), ak duduk depan komputer. Ak on komputer, ak search everything pasal produk pelangsingan.... smbil menangis-menangis mcm org x betul. Then, ak teringat ade ramai org ckp satu produk ni bagus, mmg menjadi. Ak search, buat kajian, timbang baik buruk die, in the end, ak jumpa jln penyelesaian. Herbalife.

Ak mengaku yg ak ni sorang yg low motivation, no consistency and ape entah lagi lah... Ak x boleh nk stick pada satu bnde lama2, or senang ckp, ak ni pemalas! haha.. Tapi, kalo nk turunkan berat bdn mmg kne ade motivation yg kuat! Semangat tu mesti ade! So, ak tekad ak nk kuruskan berat badan dgn Herbalife. There's no turning back! Ak pun survey la mane2 pengedar yg ak boleh beli produk Herbalife ni. Cari2, jumpa, tanya ape yg patut, tny harga sume, transfer duit and...just tunggu barang je! Org ramai kata Herbalife ni bagus, tapi mahal! Ak fikir balik, mmg la mahal, tapi ak nk kurus, nk sihat(sihat betul ya, bukan ade maksud yg tersirat mcm first sentence, okay :P).

Ape2 pun, this is my resolution towards being a healthy person! And... a slim person! :D

p/s: mmg ak menyampah giler dgn bebudak group tu. bkn setakat menyampah, dh naik benci ak tgk muka dowg.

I'm Not A Leader!!

Ak tau skang dh sbulan dh pun sem ni start, but I have an urge to write something! So, here I go~~~

Sem ni ak amik 3 subjek. Okay, fine. 2 of them need to form a group. Okay, fine. Tanpa, buang mase, hbs je first clz, ak trus je pegi ke kwn chinese ak yg ak satu group with mase sem lps. Then, die kata okay for one subjk. Another one, mungkin boleh and mungkin no sbb one of her friend pun ade reserve kan tempat utk kwn die. So, let's pray yg kwn die tu x jd nk join group ni.

Second week, mase clz blm start, that girl ckp ak satu group dgn die dua2 subjk. Yes! Okay, tempat ak dh secured. Lgpun ak tau, masuk group ni ak x kan jd leader nye. Ak mls nk bertanggungjwb buat keje tu sume. Ak letih.

Lepas tu, lebih kurang 5 mint sblm klas start, Hani dtg kat ak. Die ckp, jom la masuk group die. Ak pk la, mcm mane nk ckp ni. Ak teringin sgt nk ckp, "Knp x ajak ak mase first clz? Korang duduk across my left je *separated by the aisle.*" Tp, actually, ak mmg x nk satu group ngan korang pun. Kalo ak terdesak nk ngan korang, mmg mase first clz tu dh ak pegi kat ko tny leh x ak join group korang. Lgpun, kalo ak masuk group korang, msti ak nye jd ketua and korang sume jgn hrp la nk wat keje, kan?

Then, dlm week tu jgk, ak ade terserempak ngan Wany. Amboi....selamba nye die bwk bf die masuk klas skali. Mmg bertuah wany dpt laki mcm tu. Kalo selamat nikah, lg la bertuah. Anyway, bkn itu yg ak nk ckp. Die tny ak dh ade group x. Ak ckp la ade. Die tny blk, bile formed? Ak jwb, mase first clz la. Week first pun die x reti nk dtg klas.

So, mmg sem ni ak bernasib baik x satu group ngan dowg. Letih okay, ngan dowg. Slama ak se-group ngan wany, die mmg bg keje kat ak yg entah hape2 entah. Hany plak, ak x leh lupe ape yg jd mse english dlu. Org yg mcm tu, better jgn satu group, menyakitkan hati ak je.

p/s: beban ak kurang sem ni! hehee~~~

Selamat!!

"First, saya nk ucapkan bnyk2 trima kasih kat uncle walaupun saya tau sgt yg uncle mmg x boleh bc bende ni."


Mase ak nk pegi mmu td, nk masuk Cyber dh ni, tayar ak pecah tgh jln! Panik mmg x yh ckp. Ape ak nk wat pun ak x tau. Bukak bonet, tgk ade x tayar spare, jack, spannar sume.. Ok, ade.

Pastu ak amik phone nk kol abg ak. Tut..tut...tut... x angkat! Ah, sudah! Cmne ni? Nk kol skali lg, ak nmpk ade teksi berenti depan kete ak. Kuar la uncle tu dr teksi die..

Uncle: "Ape jadi ni?"
Ak: "Tayar saya pecah."
Uncle: "Tayar spare ade? Jack? Spannar?"
Ak: "Sume ade kat bonet."

Terus la uncle tu tolong ak. Tgh die wat keje, ak ckp la thanks. Die ckp, "highway mmg kalo thn org x dtg tolong." So, mmg ak giler berterima kasih la die tolong ak.

Kalo die x berenti tolong ak, dah tu plak abg ak mmg x angkat phone, alamat nye ak la yg tukar tayar sendri. Nasib baik ak kuar umah awal, so x la lewat sampai klas. hehe

Alamak... Time ni jgk la nk wat hal kan..

   Nk mengeluh pun x boleh...salah ak jugak... Kete ak x leh start!!!! Tulah, mak dh ckp, 'Wanie, jgn lupa sentiasa start kete tu, nanti x boleh start, wanie susah..' Haa...padan muka ak! Degil.. Tp kan, ak ade la panas kan enjin kete tu kelmarin.. Saje je nk wat ak sakit ati kan..

   Kuar dr umah kul 12.45 pm, tgk kat parking sunyi sepi je.. Ye lah kan, cuti ari ni. Kete lalu lalang pun x de. Dgn confident nye g kete, nk start je, x boleh! Nk panic pun x boleh, masalah x selesai pun.. So, tunggu la kalo ade kete lalu ke, org turun nk naik kete ke..

   Tunggu punye tunggu, dh dekat 20 minit dh ni, sorang pun ak x nmpak ade kat parking lot tu, satu kete pun x de lalu. Alahai... ape nk buat, tunggu je la. Ape2 hal, check dlu ade x jumper kat dlm kete ak ni.. Karang nk mintak org jumpstart kete ak senang. Dowg x de jumper, x pe, ak ade.

   Akhirnye!! Dh 30 minit ak tunggu, ak nmpak ade sorang abg ni tgh jln g kete die. Dgn harapan yg ak kumpul, harap2 la die ni nk tlg ak.., pegi la tebal kan muka g kete die, mintak tlg.. Abg ni dgn baik ati nye ckp boleh, tp x de jumper... Dh ckp dh! Kalo x de jumper, x pe, ak ade.

   Ak kuar kan jumper, tunggu die bwk kete die berenti depan kete ak. Alhamdulillah... At last!! Kete ak dh boleh rolling dh~~ Thank you mister! You saved my life! Jasa mu tetap ku kenang smpai mati~~

The end.

moral of the story : jgn cari pasal x reti2 nk pegi panas kan enjin kete ko, wanie.