Widen Your Mind

This is only myself talking nonsense... Haha... Actually, no. Haha...

I read her wordpress every now and then and sometimes when I checked her blog, there are new posts she wrote in there and of course, I'm only concern about what she write about herbalife. Nothing than that. Not about her married life or whatsoever, how she totally bahagia and all that. I don't even care.

Last time I checked her blog, she wrote this phrase that made me think.

"If you ever want to lose your weight for the sake of being healthy, do call me, I'll do whatever I can to help you achieve that. But, if your reason taking herbalife is to show off your body, nk tayang2 pd org len, then, don't even bother calling me cause I'll not 'layan' you." *more or less she wrote it like this, but the meaning is still there.*

Okay, here's the thing. I agreed with you that you don't like people taking this thing just so they can show off their slim body later. And I respect your mentality that you'll only help those people who want to be healthy, nothing wrong with that.

But, the only thing I disagree is that, there are people who want to take this thing so that their life would be better. Better in the sense that they will not being insulted, mocked, or whatever bad words thrown at them. Maybe your interpretation of what other mean that made you inclined to think like that. No, you're wrong.

For instance, me. I take herbalife is not because I want to be healthy. Being healthy is a secondary reason for me. The important thing to me is that, I take this thing because I want to shut their fucking mouths. I want to show them, I'm not the old f*t girl anymore for them to bad mouthing about me. Maybe your perception is that, I want to show off my body later, but no. Open your eyes! Want to show off the body and want to shut someone mouth is two different things!

You need to widen your mind. You have to think beyond that. Every word has a meaning behind that. You can't just simply made your own meaning without learn their actual meaning first. So, if I were to meet you and I would say this, "My WHY is because I want to shut the mouths of those who have insulted me before." Maybe, or I should say, highly probable that you would think that my 'WHY' is because I want to show off my body, my slim body, afterward so that they will not kutuk2 me any longer.

Do you ever wonder that my actual reason is because I'm sick of their hurtful words? That my heart can't take it anymore? That every single day, every single moment they will stare at me like I was some sort of an extinct animal? Bad things they said to me? How hurt I was feeling? No? Then, don't talk like you know everything.

p/s: this was my interpretation of what she said, others may think differently as what I thought. no harm done, peace no war.

Drastic? Dun now....

Ak x tau la nk kate drastik tu mcm mane bak kate cik mira.... Ak dh turun ke 93kg ari ni. Total 7kg utk 3 weeks!

Anyway, akak tu ckp sebulan purata akan consume bnde tu sbnyk 3 botol. Mmg ak pakai 3 botol!! Waa... kopak jadinye ak! Haha, kalo puas ati, never mind la~~!! Oh, ak dh spent almost Rm1000 over utk bnde ni sbb ak dh bli stock utk bln depan nye!

Mati ak kalo parents ak tny mane duit ak pegi *2nd time ak ckp bnde yg sama. hehe* x pe, modal bli groceries *sbnr nye, ak x msak pun!* boleh simpan buat blanja ak skit! Nmpaknye duit yg ak simpan nk bli fridge terpaksa pakai dlu. Ak kne tunggu ade duit skit baru la pk blk nk bli peti ais.

Lgpun, ak ni bkn nye masak pun, x de gune sgt pun peti ais tu. Ak just pk, kalo parents ak dtg, x yh la angah ak buang duit bli ais kat 7e, x payah la mak ak pening2 nk kne panaskan makanan tu sebelum tido, and pagi2 sblm tgh hari *okay, sbnrnye ak yg kne buat, tp d-sbbkan pemalas sgt ak ni, peti ais is a must supaya boleh sumbat je makanan tu dlm fridge, kuarkan and panaskan bile nk makan petang nanti je! Haha!*

Btw, ak ske bile berat ak dh turun, that's mean ak ade buat something pd bdn ak supaya kurang skit berat ak ni! Sblm ni, x pernah ter-pk nk pun nk exercise ke ape ke. Bile dh amik bnde ni, ak pk, duit dh kuar bnyk, kalo x turun sgt, membazir pun ade.. That's why la ak rajin skit nk senaman walaupun rase mcm nk mati! Hehe~~ Tp, kdg2 pemalas jugak... Ade la dlm tiga ari tu, sehari ak skip exercise. Haha! Pastu, mulut ak ni jenis yg suke mengunyah, so, phm2 la... Hehe... sume kudap2 dlm umah ak ni *yg ak bli + mak ak bg sblm ak bli herbalife* ak curi2 makan!

Ade satu blogger ni ak bc story die, giler bnyk die pny tekad. Tekad x nk makan tu, x nk amik tu, x nk makan umah terbuka time raya and etc. Ak x rase ak leh buat mcm die... Susah ooo~~!! Anyway, mmg respect habis la die.. Dlm setahun, pergh, kecik je die... Rase mcm x caya je sbb gmbar die sblm kurus mmg nmpak mcm die tu someone yg tulang besar! Kalo kurus pun, ak assumed die agak besar org nye. Agak2, ak akan jd cm die ke? *berangan*

Mana Tau~~~

Angan2 pun actually boleh jadi kenyataan kalo kite work it out tau~~ *pandai je ak ckp* Tp, mesti la ade motivation nk buat dan cara yg btul!

So, disbb kan ak dh start buat, and ak dh leh nmpak ade perubahan walaupun slow pace, x salah kan kalo ak nk berangan skit~~~

Cik Keenah n Cik Mira mesti support ak pny kan~~ Hehe~~

Ak pk nk ubah style pakaian ak nanti bile ak dh kurus. Of course, no jeans. Ak pk nk pakai kain labuh tu. Lawa. Dh lama teringin nk pakai.

Tp, ak pendek~~~ Mane la sesuai nk pakai skirt labuh... uwaaa.. T_T..  kalo kaki ak kecik, boleh gak membeli belah kasut tinggi... ni x... mak ayah siap buat lawak lgi, "boleh tempah je kasut tu." Kat sape? Aish...

Baju pun nanti nk bli yg ade fashion skit tp ade la preference yg ak cari.

Baju kurung still akan pakai, tp mmg kne anta alter la jwb nye~~ Haha, kuat ak berangan! Hehe~~! Sbb, pada ak, mase ak bdn besar dlu, baju kurung la penyelamat ak. Ak syg baju kurung.

Anyway, some of the clothes I want to wear~~

 Ak suke tgk baju ni!

 Ni org panggil, 'Bohemian Skirt'. Cantik print die~~

 Waaa...Oren!

Ni pun lawa jugak~~

Nk yg ni!!!!

 Plain je.. putih, tp lawa. Hehe~~

 Lawa giler skirt die!!!!

Waktu keje boleh la kot....

 Nakkk!!!!!

 Hijau! Yaa, lawa nye!!

Baju die!!! Lawa~~

 Plain gile. Tp ak suke!

 Putih~~ Menarik tau baju ni!

Ak nk baju yg labuh2 skit, ceyy, muslimah la kata kan! Eheks! Tp, mmg kne jelajah shopping mall satu malaysia la ni kalo nk cari baju2 yg sebijik cmni! Hehe~~

Dh turun lgi~~

Yay, biar lmbat, ak x kisah, janji turun! Hari ni, turun jd 95kg!! Dh turun 5kg dr first day amik bnde ni, kira okay la. Drpd x turun lgsg. Sblm ni nk turun 1kg pun payah bebeno. Hehe~~

Berusaha!!!

p/s: ak dh nmpak perubahan kat perut ak!!! first time ak tgk dh mcm pregnant 6 bln dh... =_="  sekarang ade la mcm turun skit ke 4,5 bln! Lol~~~

Why Now? Haha~~

The other day mase ak kat Ipoh, ade sorang kakak ni dtg kat ak.

Die: Adik ade kwn2 yg nk turunkan berat bdn x?
Ak: Aaa.....
Die: Adik pernah dgr nutrisihat?
Ak: Aaa.... *geleng kpala*
Die: Pernah dgr herbalife?
Ak: ......(ak tgh amik bnde tu la) *angguk kpala*
Die: Okay, ni la herbalife. Dr makanan yg berminyak sume tu ditukarkan kpd shake.
Ak: (Yes, ak tau. Ak tgh minum bnde tu la)
Die: Okay, kami ade.. bla, bla,bla...
Ak: *angguk kpala*

Akak tu berckp smpai la mintak no. phone ak. Bile die mintk je, ak terus ckp ak tgh amik bnde tu. Berseri muka die! haha~~~ Die ckp kat ak kalo blh kol la die share perkembangan body weight ak. Sblm ak amik korang x dtg kat ak pun. Haha...
Insya-Allah kak, saya akan kol. Tp, kalo saya kol, akak still ingat kat saya ke? Bkn nye akak ade contact no. saya pun. Saya je ade.

moral of the story: len kali bgtau awal2 kalo korang ade amik produk yg dowg tgh promote supaya jimat mase. haha...

p/s: actually ak tgh blur mase die berckp tu. So, ak angguk je ape yg die ckp. ak pk, cepat la hbs, ak nk cepat ni. bile die mintk no phone, baru ak ckp ak amik bnde tu skang. x tau la ape yg die pk. ak ni menipu ke ape ke. papepun, die still tunjuk muka die happy bile ak ckp tgh amik bnde alah tu.

Dh turun!!

Yay, semalam ak timbang 97kg, ari ni ak timbang, dh turun 95.5kg! Lalala~~ turun 1.5kg! Yosh!!! Target minggu ni is 93kg! Gambatte ne~~~!

That Story

Ak ni x de la kurus org nye. Badan mmg 'sihat'! Tp, dgn badan ak yg mcm ni, makin lama makin buat ak depress. Kne hina, kne kutuk, kne gelak, sume ak pernah rase. x payah ckp la mcm mane perasaan ak mase tu, sedih, bengang, rase nk koyak2 kan mulut diaorg pun ade. But hey! At least ak tabah. Ak senyap je setiap kali diaorg ckp bukan2 pasal ak. Kne kutuk depan2 org ramai pun ak pernah kne. Ak senyum je. x de satu perubahan pun dekat muka ak. Buat bodoh mmg la, tapi nk buat pekak susah! Every tiny bit bnde yg diaorg ckp tu ak boleh dgr! Ak sedar yg ak ni x kurus, x lawa, x hot sume, tp korang kne ingat, ak ade perasaan. Setiap kali korang mengutuk ak, setiap kali itu lah, ak menangis. Ak x ckp ape2 kat parents ak, adik beradik mmg x payah ckp la, dh diaorg join skali mengutuk ak. Every time org ckp bnde buruk pasal ak, parents ak just ckp, "x pe wanie, gemuk pun lawa." x mak, x ayah, org lain x akan ckp, 'gemuk pun x pe, janji lawa'. Cume mak ayah je akan ckp mcm tu. Ni realiti, bukan persepsi.

Then, pada satu hari yg bahagia, ak pergi kampus, ade klas. Hari mmg panas, terik gile. Berpeluh dh satu badan. Ak ckp pada diri ak, nasib baik la klas karang ade air-cond, x de la bertambah ak berpeluh. Tgk2, tutorial hari tu, kne lari2 keliling kampus. Tujuan nye, lecturer tu x nk ade kan klas mcm bese sbb boring. Alamak... Ak dh la x fit, kne lari2 plak? And then, ak fikir balik, x pe la, budak2 group ak tu sume kawan2 ak, diaorg msti x kisah nye kalo ak suruh jgn laju sgt. TAPI!!!! Ak kne assigned masuk group lain jadi tukang perhati/(timekeeper? - nama yg lecturer bagi) diorg (sama ade diaorg ni bekerjasama ke x)..... By the time lecturer tu ckp je kne lari, one of that group members terus pandang ak!

Okay, fine! Ak just kne follow rentak diaorg je kan? Ak boleh! Group tu sume laki, sorang pompuan. Nasib baik pompuan tu ckp x nk lari sbb penat. Tp, sebenarnye... diaorg jalan giler punye laju!!! Serius ak ckp, ak letih nk ikut diaorg dr belakang. Timekeeper x boleh berpisah dgn group tu and ak kne pastikan yg group tu x berpecah. Pulak... makin sengsara la ak. Entah mcm mane, at one point, diaorg start lari! Ak pun kne la jgk lari kan? Tetiba ade sorang budak laki group tu pandang ak, die ckp, 'weh! die pun lari lah! haha!' sume group die tgk ak.....korang boleh tangkap kan maksud die? Okay, ak senyum je la. x pe, sabar je la. Then, diaorg nk catch up lift (x lalu nak naik tangga), sume ahli group tu dh masuk, tinggal ak sorang terkontang-kanting. Masuk je ak dlm tu, someone in the group ckp dgn kuat nye, 'wei, timekeeper ade x?! haha! takut pulak tertinggal!' Sume budak2 group die gelak! Malu okay!!! Lift tu penuh dgn org! Mesti la ak ade skali dlm tu, korang sebelah ak je, okay?!!!!

That's it!!!! Sepanjang hari tu ak mmg bengang. Bawak kete balik rumah pun mcm F1 driver dh. Smpai je rumah, x pasang lampu (note: dh mlm ye), ak duduk depan komputer. Ak on komputer, ak search everything pasal produk pelangsingan.... smbil menangis-menangis mcm org x betul. Then, ak teringat ade ramai org ckp satu produk ni bagus, mmg menjadi. Ak search, buat kajian, timbang baik buruk die, in the end, ak jumpa jln penyelesaian. Herbalife.

Ak mengaku yg ak ni sorang yg low motivation, no consistency and ape entah lagi lah... Ak x boleh nk stick pada satu bnde lama2, or senang ckp, ak ni pemalas! haha.. Tapi, kalo nk turunkan berat bdn mmg kne ade motivation yg kuat! Semangat tu mesti ade! So, ak tekad ak nk kuruskan berat badan dgn Herbalife. There's no turning back! Ak pun survey la mane2 pengedar yg ak boleh beli produk Herbalife ni. Cari2, jumpa, tanya ape yg patut, tny harga sume, transfer duit and...just tunggu barang je! Org ramai kata Herbalife ni bagus, tapi mahal! Ak fikir balik, mmg la mahal, tapi ak nk kurus, nk sihat(sihat betul ya, bukan ade maksud yg tersirat mcm first sentence, okay :P).

Ape2 pun, this is my resolution towards being a healthy person! And... a slim person! :D

p/s: mmg ak menyampah giler dgn bebudak group tu. bkn setakat menyampah, dh naik benci ak tgk muka dowg.

I'm Not A Leader!!

Ak tau skang dh sbulan dh pun sem ni start, but I have an urge to write something! So, here I go~~~

Sem ni ak amik 3 subjek. Okay, fine. 2 of them need to form a group. Okay, fine. Tanpa, buang mase, hbs je first clz, ak trus je pegi ke kwn chinese ak yg ak satu group with mase sem lps. Then, die kata okay for one subjk. Another one, mungkin boleh and mungkin no sbb one of her friend pun ade reserve kan tempat utk kwn die. So, let's pray yg kwn die tu x jd nk join group ni.

Second week, mase clz blm start, that girl ckp ak satu group dgn die dua2 subjk. Yes! Okay, tempat ak dh secured. Lgpun ak tau, masuk group ni ak x kan jd leader nye. Ak mls nk bertanggungjwb buat keje tu sume. Ak letih.

Lepas tu, lebih kurang 5 mint sblm klas start, Hani dtg kat ak. Die ckp, jom la masuk group die. Ak pk la, mcm mane nk ckp ni. Ak teringin sgt nk ckp, "Knp x ajak ak mase first clz? Korang duduk across my left je *separated by the aisle.*" Tp, actually, ak mmg x nk satu group ngan korang pun. Kalo ak terdesak nk ngan korang, mmg mase first clz tu dh ak pegi kat ko tny leh x ak join group korang. Lgpun, kalo ak masuk group korang, msti ak nye jd ketua and korang sume jgn hrp la nk wat keje, kan?

Then, dlm week tu jgk, ak ade terserempak ngan Wany. Amboi....selamba nye die bwk bf die masuk klas skali. Mmg bertuah wany dpt laki mcm tu. Kalo selamat nikah, lg la bertuah. Anyway, bkn itu yg ak nk ckp. Die tny ak dh ade group x. Ak ckp la ade. Die tny blk, bile formed? Ak jwb, mase first clz la. Week first pun die x reti nk dtg klas.

So, mmg sem ni ak bernasib baik x satu group ngan dowg. Letih okay, ngan dowg. Slama ak se-group ngan wany, die mmg bg keje kat ak yg entah hape2 entah. Hany plak, ak x leh lupe ape yg jd mse english dlu. Org yg mcm tu, better jgn satu group, menyakitkan hati ak je.

p/s: beban ak kurang sem ni! hehee~~~